slightlywarmtopic:

Calm ur tit
Just one tit
Leave the other one crazy and out of control
That ur party tit

208,505 notes

deersatan:

accidentally stuttering while saying your snarky comeback

image

(Source: alien0104)

414,598 notes

darkesthorizons:

neptuneisforlovers:

ITS NOT SEWING SUPPLIES!

My question is how does every single person identify with this, is it like a secret rule to use those for sewing supplies?

darkesthorizons:

neptuneisforlovers:

ITS NOT SEWING SUPPLIES!

My question is how does every single person identify with this, is it like a secret rule to use those for sewing supplies?

(Source: ofela)

445,603 notes

recreationalcannibalism:

the-adequate-gatsby:

stultifyandstupefy:

derpes:

And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”

And Abraham replied, “What.”

God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.

And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”

To which they responded, “Gay.” 

And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.

621,825 notes

Fuck you, Metatron.
The entire Supernatural fandom almost always but definitely today (via dykeadellic)

(Source: eraseseer)

3,853 notes

lolamp5312:

Apparently the snake was very smart.

2,453 notes

sadpuns:

pegsiclecosplay:

downtothedevilyougo:

nicotinebatch:

averypottermormon:

it’s 2 in the morning and this is hilarious

it is 6 in the evening and it is still hilarious

Hahaha

9:36pm. Still hilarious.

It’s 2096, humanity has been wiped out by raging cannibalism, only I’m alive. This very post, is still hilarious

(Source: nerdreamer)

189,297 notes

headfirstintowonderland:

so someone once called my old english teacher immature (because at this point he was spinning around on a wheely chair) and he said:

“Yeah, but the truth is we never really grow up. We just masquerade as adults because that’s what we’re expected to do.”


and to this day that is the single most profound thing i have ever heard uttered by someone dicking around on a swivel chair

234,617 notes

"one day you’re a soap opera star and next your two best friends are an energetic 6’4 puppy and a crazy person who commissions skittle portraits of your face" - jensen ackles.

(Source: wolfysammy)

3,699 notes

verifying:

*walks into friends house*  whats your wifi password

1,888 notes

  • family: why won't you come with us?
  • me: there must always be a stark at winterfell

59,954 notes

yes-i-am-lucifer:

pmon3y69:

drdawg:

my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories

this is me, i am pete, love me 

we love you pete

150,385 notes