Calm ur tit
Just one tit
Leave the other one crazy and out of control
That ur party tit
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
it’s 2 in the morning and this is hilarious
it is 6 in the evening and it is still hilarious
9:36pm. Still hilarious.
It’s 2096, humanity has been wiped out by raging cannibalism, only I’m alive. This very post, is still hilarious
so someone once called my old english teacher immature (because at this point he was spinning around on a wheely chair) and he said:
“Yeah, but the truth is we never really grow up. We just masquerade as adults because that’s what we’re expected to do.”
and to this day that is the single most profound thing i have ever heard uttered by someone dicking around on a swivel chair
#if you don’t watch spn this is just a guy laughing #if you do you are probs cryign your fucking eyes out right now because this isn’t a happy laugh #future cas gives me so many feels he’s not a stoner he’s in constant fucking pain #he’s self medicating and trying to numb himself down because he can’t #all those emotions humans feel he feels them much stronger because he had no time to adjust to learn and grow #he’s been thrown straight into the fucking apocalypse and negative emotions were the first and only thing he got to feel #i fucking love future cas sorry (via longlineofquitters)
- family: why won't you come with us?
- me: there must always be a stark at winterfell